the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
