i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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