spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
