I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
