How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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