I wish I only lived at night.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
