he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
We don't watch enough power rangers
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
