my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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