they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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