Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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