So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
