My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
