Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
