We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
