Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize