I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
