he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
