if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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