no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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