I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I think a kid would responsible me up
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
