tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
