so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You need Xanax blowdarts
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
