I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
