i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
