even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
