their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
