How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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