Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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