Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
