they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Randomize
