I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
