I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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