I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Randomize