If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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