Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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