she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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