i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize