Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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