Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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