So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
