My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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