hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Randomize
