New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
