oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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