i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
