yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
