It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize