They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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