Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
