I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
