My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize