Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My cat gives me a boner
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
