last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
