Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
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