i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
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