My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
