Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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