so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
