Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
