i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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