We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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