You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
