Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
no you cant smoke seaweed
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize