Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
