That's intense
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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