when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
